Encounters of a Deaf Kind
by demented-shoelace
Summary: It's a kind of kareoke night, with all your favourite Tortallans singing songs, and their friends reactions to go with! Many acts involve certain characters making fools of themselves. Laughs guaranteed! [rated for language in first chap]
1. A resounding beginning

A/N: I know this has sort of been done before but I wanted to try it anyway. This is a fic with all your fav Tortallan characters singing songs! I love these kinds of fics so I decided to write one to my taste. I am planning on having two songs in each chapter, so if you have any suggestions, review them to me and I just might use it. Thanks! As always, please R&R!

Disclaimer: Yeah yeah. I don't own anything except the plot. Well, I guess I don't even own that… Oh well. At least I have this nice little plug. Good plug. Nice plug. Wait! Plug! Where are you going? Noooooo! Pluuuuuuuug?

**Cast of Characters:**

Alanna, George, Jon, Thayet, Buri, Raoul, Daine, Numair, Kel, Neal, Dom, Gary, Cythera etc. PLUS me (Ashleigh) will be taking the role of host… mua ha ha ha ha

**Setting:**

Great Hall of Corus Palace. There is a stage where microphone gear, amps and live band are set up. Hey! It's my story, so don't tell me these electrical items don't belong in the Human Era!

**Story:**

Ashleigh: Hello, and welcome to the very first annual 'Let Out Your Inner Feelings On Anyone You Want' karaoke night. Let me clarify the rules for everybody here. I "randomly" choose a name, and that person has to sing a song about another person I also choose "randomly". rummages in hat First up we have… Alanna!

Wild applause emanated from the audience. Alanna steps up onto the stage and stares at the microphone. Who knew Alanna had stage fright? Or so they thought. George nudged Thayet, "Do you know what sort of voice she has?"  
"No idea", replied Thayet. "But I guess we're about to find out".

Alanna: (tapping the mic) Err, is this thing on? Whatever. I am going to sing 'A.N.I.C.' by Sum 41, cause they totally rock. This song is dedicated to Delia for being the spiteful cow that she is.

music starts up

_You look like ass, you smell like shit, so why are you such a dick?  
You walk around like you're the tits, you always make me sick.  
Bound for agony, your life's catastrophe._

You look like ass, you smell like shit so why are you such a dick?  
You walk around like you're the tits, you always make me sick.  
Bound for agony, your life's catastrophe.

You're an asshole, you're an asshole, you're an asshole, you're an asshole  
You make me sick!  


stunned silence George let out a low whistle. Thayet stared, open mouthed at Alanna. Buri was laughing her head off and Jon, well let's say Jon was _trying_ to frown. Alanna bowed and stepped off stage, gathering as much dignity as she could. She looked a bit miffed that no one was clapping her.

Ashleigh: Thankyou for that, err, inspiring performance Alanna. Let's just say we will never forget it.

Jon (to Alanna): I never knew you hated her _that_ much.

Alanna: The feelings mutual, you know.

She shrugged to emphasise her feelings.

Host: Well, we have our next contestant … Buri!

Buri clamours out of her seat as if in a rush to reach the stage

Buri: Okay guys, I am going to sing "I'm Right Here" by Samantha Mumba! Ooo, I'm so excited!

_Back in the day, I did not know,  
What to look for, in my new beau.  
So I would just settle  
For guys I should have never  
Even have dated but now I know better  
Because I've experienced,  
All types of relationships.  
I know what I need, So I shall just meet  
My dream guy into real life with me_

All the good men who are out there,  
all the single ladies wanna know where,  
so put your hands up in the air,  
Say "I'm right here."

A guy who has style, beautiful smile, wears that cologne that drives women wild  
Takes more then just looks, to get me shook, When he catches my mind, He'll have me hooked  
Wanna guy with intelligence, A perfect gentleman.  
To be more than a lover, more than my man, a guy who could be my best friend.

I wanna know where  
Could they be over there?  
No they're right here  
I think they're over there  
Said I wanna know  
I think they're over here  
I know they're here somewhere  
I know there good men out there. 

_All the good men who are out there,  
all the single ladies wanna know where,  
so put your hands up in the air,  
Say "I'm right here."_

Everyone claps, except for Raoul who, for some reason known only to himself, puts his hand up in the air. Everyone turns and stares incredulously at him. Raoul sinks down in his seat, with a heavy blush on his face.

Host: cough Well, I don't think I was expecting that! Oooo Raoul's got a crush! Oooo!

Raoul now sinks even further down in his chair that he's sitting on the floor.

Host: Hehehe, I guess that's it for tonight! Next chapter, we'll see Jon and Numair getting their groove on!

Buri sits down next Raoul and points an accusing finger at him. "Why on earth did you raise your hand for?"

Jon murmurs to Thayet, "What the hell does she mean next 'chapter'?"

A/N: One chapter down! Gimme at least 9.5 reviews and I'll update! Hehehe…


	2. A Stunned Silence and Daine

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs or the people in the fic. I only own myself. Wait… do I? What if we are all being possessed by Lord Volde – oops, wrong fic.

Ashleigh: Welcome back to the 1st annual 'Let Out Your Inner Feelings On Anyone You Want' karaoke night! Continuing straight on, may I have the, umm, pleasure of introducing King Jonathon! rolls eyes

Jon: (in a Fonzie accent) Heeeey! (Back to normal) Why'd you roll your eyes at me?

Ashleigh: Because you are like, so good looking that it hurts my eyes to look at you, so therefore I have to roll my eyes to get rid of the pain.

I said this in obvious sarcasm, but apparently Jon seemed to miss it.

Jon: tosses his hair You really think so? flutters eyelashes

There are scattered sniggers throughout the crowd.

Ashleigh: Anyhoo, as I was saying, King Jonathon will be singing… LOVE SHACK!

Jon puts on his most dashing smile as he moves up towards the stage.

Jon: Hiya, everybody! As Ashleigh said, I will be singing 'Love Shack'! Which is my most favouritist song in the world!

A brief snort of laughter echoed up from the crowd. Alanna was staring at her fingernails as if they were most fascinating. As Jon began to sing, she looked up, mentally preparing herself to memorise every second of what was about to occur.

_If you see a faded sign -at- the side of the road that says  
15 miles to the...Love Shack! Love Shack yeayeah  
I'm headin' down the Atlanta highway, lookin' for the love getaway  
Heading for the love getaway, love getaway,  
I got me a car, it's as big as a whale and we're headin' on down  
To the Love Shack  
I got me a Chrysler, it seats about 20  
So hurry up and bring your jukebox money  
_  
Jon swings his hips around and waves his hands in the air_Glitter on the mattress  
Glitter on the highway  
Glitter on the front porch  
Glitter on the hallway_

The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together  
Love Shack baby! Love Shack baby!  
Love Shack, that's where it's at! Love Shack, that's where it's at!

Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin', wearin' next to nothing  
Cause it's hot as an oven  
The whole shack shimmies

Jon shimmies down

_The whole shack shimmies  
_  
Jon shimmies back up again

_The whole shack shimmies  
when everybody's movin' around and around and around!  
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby!  
Folks linin' up outside just to get down  
Everybody's movin', everybody's groovin' baby  
Funky little shack! Funky little shack!  
_  
_Bang bang bang on the door baby! Knock a little louder suga  
Bang bang bang on the door baby! I can't hear you!  
_  
Jon pretends he's knocking on a door by knocking on the air in front of him

_Bang bang bang! On the door baby (knock a little louder)  
Bang bang bang! On the door  
You're what?... Tin roof, rusted!  
Love Shack, baby Love Shack, Love Shack, baby Love Shack!  
Love Shack, baby Love Shack, Love Shack, baby Love Shack!  
A lot of love at the love shack!  
_  
Stunned silence. A cricket chirps…

Jon looks around expectantly but is met by shocked faces. Jon looks over to his Champion, who looks him straight in the eyes. A few seconds passed, and then Alanna let out a shriek and fell on to the floor laughing her head off. Her insane hoots of hilarity caused tears of mirth to pour down her face. She rolled over, clutching her stomach. Thayet looked around wide-eyed as though she were expecting someone to jump out and yell "FOOLS!" but no one did. Daine hid some sniggers behind her hand while George was looking as though what was happening was some sort of riotous play.

Jon did a bow but a frown creased his forehead. As he sat down he whispered to Numair, "I thought I did alright. Didn't I?"

At this, Numair began to laugh but soon stopped as Jon glared at him dangerously.

Ashleigh: (after wiping away her own tears of laughter) After that _MOST_ entertaining performance, please welcome your most talented mage, Numair Salmalín!

Actual applause met this name

Ashleigh; Tonight Numair will be singing "See My Vest".

A/N: originally on the simpsons, its the take off from 'be my guest', from Beauty and the Beast

A tiny frown appeared on Daine's mouth. She whispered to Kel, "What exactly is this song about?" Kel didn't have the heart to tell her.

As Numair went on stage Daine's worries increased even more.

"Daine," said Numair, "Please don't take this song personally. I am being forced to sing it." He directed an evil glare at Ashleigh. I shrugged my shoulders innocently.

Numair drew a deep breath.

Some men hunt for sport,  
Others hunt for food.  
The only thing I'm hunting for  
Is an outfit that looks good.  
See my vest, see my vest,  
Made from real gorilla chest.  
Feel this sweater, there's no better  
Than authentic Irish Setter.  
See this hat, 'twas my cat.  
My evening wear, vampire bat.

At this point, Daine was nearly in tears

These white slippers are albino  
African endangered rhino.  
Grizzly bear underwear,  
Turtle necks I've got my share.  
Beret of poodle on my noodle it shall rest  
Try my red robin suit,  
It comes one breast or two...  
See my vest, See my vest, See my vest.

Tears were now pouring down Daine's face. How could he sing that? Especially when she was in the room.

Like my loafers, former gophers,  
It was that or skin my chauffeurs,  
But a greyhound fur tuxedo would be best...  
So let's prepare these dogs,  
Kill two for matching clogs!  
See my vest!  
See me vest!  
Oh, please, won't you see my veeeeeesst!

Numair: I really like the vest!

Gary: I gathered that...

Daine: (gasps) He's gonna make a tuxedo out of puppies!

Alanna: (hums the tune of the song) Na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-naaa...

Daine: Alanna!

Alanna: Sorry. But you gotta admit, it's catchy.

A/N: And so ends another chapter! Please review with any ideas for songs that go well with characters and PLEASE review.


End file.
